Have you ever felt unworthy? Have you been in that place of scrolling through Instagram and seeing all these photos of families who love each other, people on nice vacations, or a couple who are madly in love, and it leaves you feeling like a “Black Sheep”?
This is not a new feeling; this feeling is as old as Cain and Able. A few years ago, a friend at church shared a story that had happened about 25 years ago, which I had no idea had occurred. Twenty-five years ago, I was a husband and father of three kids who had started a cleaning business a few years prior, and life was a struggle.
Often, when bidding on a pizza parlor, they would negotiate part of the payment in free pizza, and of course, this was attractive for two reasons. 1. It gave Carah a break, and 2. I loved pizza (ok, I still do). At one time, we had four places from which we got free pizza monthly. It was common to see us out, the five of us, for pizza, and the kids loved it.
What I didn’t know is that my friend from church, whom I have known for fifty years, would come in with her son after her divorce and relocation back home to see us. I do remember seeing her and her son, and we would smile and say hello, but I had no idea what her thoughts were.
She would see us and couldn’t see how difficult life was for us financially or the struggles in our marriage; what she saw was a husband and wife parenting together, and she longed for that. She was a single mom who worked over 50 hours a week and often grabbed pizza because she was too exhausted to cook after picking up her son from daycare.
Comparison robs us of so much in life. Perhaps if she had known the truth and could have peeked inside our home and marriage, she would not have longed for what we had, and maybe that “Black Sheep” feeling would never have entered her mind.
Jesus tells us we are to be “Salt & Light,” and I want all of us who follow Jesus to be joyful and loving to all, but I worry about those who are hurting and feeling like “Black Sheep.” I know there is a fine line between “Salt & Light” and reality. We need to be peace-filled, joyful people yet also lean into our weakness so those who are doing life and feeling like “Black Sheep.”
This is why it is so important that we invite those into our lives not only to church on Sunday but also to fellowship with us as we do life. Use the gift of hospitality to invite people into our homes and lives so they see our joy and our flaws, our love and our weaknesses. Remember, many with the “Black Sheep” syndrome feel unworthy and unwelcome at church, and not only do they need an invitation, but also a ride on Sunday.
Going to any new place is nerve-racking, and the church only amplifies this feeling. Here is my suggestion for inviting someone to church. As you ask, then add two other items to the invite. 1. offer them to ride together and 2. plan for breakfast or lunch after service. This is so much more appealing to the new to-church person. Remember that Jesus died for “Black Sheep,” and as the Good Shepherd, he came for them just as much or more than us.
See you Sunday at 9 or 11 am.
Pastor Chris